Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Rooster?

I am.  Seriously.  Remember this guy?

He recently decided that I'm another rooster.  So what did I do?  I Googled some advice.  And Google said it's time for the empress to strike back.  Okay.  So the next time he turned his spurs on me, I didn't back down.

And now he hates me.

Today as I was about to leave the garden, he was literally pacing the fence next to me, waiting for me to exit and then blindly turn my back so he could sink his filthy talons into whichever part of my body was most accessable.  Luckily, I was fully aware of his rather conspicuous strategy and was able to defend myself, walking away unscathed.

In an attempt at amnesty, Byron (who has also been attacked by said animal) snatched the rooster off his roost and brought him into the house tonight so I could pet him. Akea loves the nasty little thing and was actually resting her head on his greasy neck. I pet him, made appropriate cooing noises, and even tried feeding him some wheat berries. All went well until he bristled at me.

So after returning the varmint to his roost, Byron Googled some more advice.  This time, Google said to back down to the rooster and give him treats.  Well, thanks a lot, Google!  Wish you'd told me that the first time!  I will attempt this strategy tomorrow, though I'm not too sure about the backing down part.  I'm willing to try treats again, but I just have issues with backing down to an eight pound animal who wants his (literal) pound of flesh from me.

     "But," you may ask, "didn't you just say you were afraid of him? Isn't that, in essence, backing down?"
     "Yes," I answer you candidly.  "I am afraid of the big, bad rooster."  Let me draw an analogy: You know how when someone tells you not to think of pink elephants (or roosters, as in my case), all you can think of are pink elephants?  It's the same thing with this piece of timeless wisdom: Animals can sense fear, so don't act afraid around them.  So what's the first feeling I'm going to have when I see him waddling my way?  See my dilemma now?

Any advice?  He's actually a great rooster for the hens.  So though we'd love to be able to keep him, this is not my idea of livin' the dream!

I'm linking up to Homestead Revival's Barn Hop!  Click below to check it out: