They arrived here long after I came, yet they have received the kind of treatment I deserve. A brand new house. Breakfast in bed, pretty much. Tucked in at night. And just this past weekend, a brand new yard that I, apparently, am not allowed to play in.
The old yard was fine, and the best thing about it was that I could easily access its many amusements, not the least of which was giving them a little run for their money - or eggs, as the case may be.
And speaking of, he is obsessed with the eggs. You know, the guy in the orange sweatshirt who always sent them scattering about as quickly as I could? All of a sudden, he's bringing them treats and praising them for laying a gooey, sticky egg. I mean, come on! You'd think they were laying Fillet Mignon.
Anyway, back to the yard. Like I said, it was easy to access until this weekend. Then all of a sudden, last night he's putting up this great netting around their house. I'm serious - I thought he'd actually bought something for me to play with besides those silly turkey feather toys he makes! I was all rolled up in it, frolicking as anyone with half a brain would expect me to, when all of a sudden he grabs me out of the netting and mumbles something about me ruining that, too! So I nonchalantly strolled away. Fine, mister, you could have your netting.
Well, a little while later I realized that this netting was all a new fence for them, giving them an unfairly proportioned size of my backyard. Fine. Whatever. I could probably squeeze through the holes anyway. He even encouraged me to give it a shot.
I didn't even try to get in - all I did was brush a little too close and OUCH! I couldn't help myself - I jumped from the electric shock. Now, keeping my composure is a very important feline quality, as breaking out of character is usually unacceptable, but dang...that hurt! But as soon as I regained it, I nonchalantly walked away, though yes, it was all a facade.
Apparently he and she both have grand plans for these chickens, and they've even talked about getting more. Sigh. They're going to use this portable electric fencing (that they apparently got a great craigslist deal on) to move the chickens to brand new yards every few days. It's not fair, but I can only hope they buy something nice for me, too.
As I always like to look at the milk bowl half full, there is a bright side. That charger that gives predators an electric shock every time they touch the fence? It won't be plugged in forever. I heard them talking about getting a rechargeable battery for it to save electricity and diversify their pasturing options and bla, bla, bla. Well, isn't that special. Just wait until they forget to recharge the battery. Game on, bird brains!
|I really don't understand why portable electric poultry netting can't double as a fab cat toy.|
|She made me include this picture. Boring!|
|And this one. I'm falling asleep here, people.|
|That's better. C'mom...do I look like a chicken killer?|